Hope is a funny word. We all have it most of the time. We hope that we’ll get a good parking space, that job, our team will win the game, our partner will change, our children will grow up to be whole and at one with themselves.
But when is it time to stop hoping for something? I think it was Einstein who said a sure sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results. Does hope counter in there? Miracles do happen, on a daily basis. And we have to factor in God when we look at the word hope.
But, a bit like science, hope does have an element of what’ gone before. Use Idols as an example – each year we see hopefuls who stand up in front of a bunch of experts and belt out what they think is their very best rendition of a popular song. Often they get the worst possible outcome – vitriolic comments about their ability as a singer, entertainer and even sometimes as a person. But there are those that go back the next year. They were told not to give up their day job, told they would never be anything in the music industry, and yet they go back and try again with hope in their hearts.
Hope can only happen if sometime in the past you experienced, or know of someone who experienced, a different result – the result of hope. But also, we put a huge amount of hope vibes onto people. We first start to try to influence them and get them around to our way of thinking. Then we dance jigs to make changes to ourselves in the hope that our metamorphosis might be an influence. We pray, really hard. And we hope. We hope that they will change.
But why should a person change? Okay, if they’re an alcoholic then they really should change because their habit is damaging to them and everyone around them. But generally, why should people be made to change? Who are we to say this is wrong, or this is right? People are who they are because of so many factors in their genetics, their upbringing, and their life situation. Of course, life situations are often as a result of their actions. Sometimes people do change, and then we hope they’ll change back, or again. We simply don’t ever seem to be satisfied.
But what happens when you simply need to stop hoping they will change? Do you morph yourself into someone who can simply accept that they are who they are? Do you ignore the impact they have on your life and try to work around the things that are hurtful or irritating to you? Or do you walk away? But how do you walk away – how do you explain that you’ve given up hoping?
Is it because we are always changing ourselves and sometimes what was, isn’t what we think should be? How do you bring hope back in a way that doesn’t make you a complete fool? Where do you draw the line between genuine, honest hope and delusion?
There’s a famous movie where one character asks the other when enough is enough. He gives the right answer – never. Good answer for a romantic movie, but does it really work in real life? When hope is gone, where does it go? We’re always hoping so if hope in one situation is gone, has it moved on to a different scenario? Do we live too much in our heads that we can’t face the reality that’s staring us in the face? Do we spend too much time fantasising and not enough time enjoying the now, the actuality of our lives? Should we be living only in the moment and ignoring the what may be in the future?
Should we fly in the face of practicality and continue to hope for something that we know isn’t really going to happen? Or should we walk away?
Well there are no answers here. Just questions about hope. Where does it come from and where does it go?