A little while ago I witnessed a man standing on a rock conducting the sea. He was really into it and I guess he fully believed that he was making it all happen.

What struck me was that I also do that, all the time. Ok, I don’t stand on a rock in front of the ocean, but I do spend a lot of physical, emotional and mental energy conducting my life, which includes those around me. There’s always a ‘thing’ – a crisis, trauma, happy event, emotional thing, admin thing, etc that ‘needs’ my input. But is my input really that necessary?

I’ve recently removed myself from in front of my usual ‘ocean’ and so far, nothing has exploded, imploded or is even terribly out of place. There’s been some movement of people in and out of the spaces I have left or newly occupied, but that hasn’t been down to my conducting abilities. I may have created some sort of cosmic wave with my own movement, a quantum influence of sorts, but it wasn’t a conscious thing at all. We all take up space in this world, some more than others. And that’s not about the physical space you occupy, it’s the emotional space you create in other people’s minds. Some people have massive presence, while others make no impact at all. It’s about what you do to the energy around you, how you influence and interact with the very molecules in your immediate environment.

By stepping back as a friend goes through a divorce or when someone is planning a birthday party, for example, wouldn’t things just play out anyway? Of course, your input may have an influence, but it’s not essential. Stuff happens the way it happens. Life moves forward (or backwards) and people get on with their lives; learn lessons, love, lose, celebrate, grieve. That’s what life is.

That’s not to say you aren’t important. But, that feeling of being so responsible for so many things; having sleepless nights worrying about other people and trying to come up with solutions for them – well, that’s not necessary.

Knowing that brings a sense of immense freedom. Knowing you can turn your back to the sea and it will continue to dance. As with everything in life – a tree will grow whether you are watching it or not, a kettle will boil, a child will mature, the earth will rotate.

Step back sometimes, turn around and look away. You’ll be surprised by what you may see and hear when you’re not focussing on conducting.