I have to make a confession.
I’m a coffee-holic.
I never thought I’d be involved in any dodgy dealings in my life, even though there have been enough famously hairy moments.
But this morning certainly felt like it.
A fellow coffee fanatic sent me a message yesterday to say he’d tracked down a guy. This guy could get coffee pods for half the going rate and he had an abundance of them – all different flavours.
Of course I immediately messaged back to say I’m in.
Well, I didn’t know it was going to be such a quick deal – these days negotiation usually has to take place before a deal can go down, but earlyish this morning (not the crack of dawn, mind, one needs one’s coffee before facing the world) we met to make the exchange.
My friend had gone a huge spree and bought 1000 pods off the guy – a little bit over the top, but hey, what’s an addiction without a little frivolity and overspending?
He’d bought four different flavours and in order to be fair, he decanted a mix of each flavour for me.
So he arrives for our meeting, right next to an ATM, because these things must always involve cash. He’s wearing a baseball cap and has his guard dog on a leash. He’s also carrying two bulging green plastic bags.
Of course, as I stand in line at the ATM, there’s an old biddy doing her whole month’s banking in one go, so the wait is long. My dealer and I chat a bit, but I can’t help thinking he looks dodgy. I start taking little glimpses behind me to see if anyone is watching us.
Finally, I get the cash but because he’s holding onto a leash with one hand and my score with the other, he can’t take it, so he pushes his pocket in my direction and I slip the notes in.
He hands over the bags and the deal is done. My dealer saunters off to get his car washed and I head home to binge.
So now I sit in the winter sun brimming with the kinetic energy only a LOT of caffeine can bring.
It’s been a good day, thanks Si.